Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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Q: Why does my arm itch? A: I got bit on the arm by a mosquito

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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a fat old hobo named da'shovant'e ate a bucket of fried chicken then killed a little girl named poopface McFergusen

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, im epileptic sdblkselhvefbed

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia Roses are red

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

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Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

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whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

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School

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whats the difference between and clorox wipe and a paper towel? a clorox wipe is wet.

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This one time at band camp music was played.

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops