A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

Reverse psychology never fails.

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

Q. What was the the cancer's patients favorite song? A. Radioactive

Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

Yo mama so fat that.....NooNoooNooooooo (strips)

Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

charlie sheen losing

A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

Why did the chicken cross the road? We don't know if he even did, how would we know why? There were no cameras at the intersection he crossed at. Therefor the question is unanswerable. Unless the chicken admits to it........ ........ Chickens can't talk.

What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

How did the blonde get Lost in her house? Netflix.

What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

A man drops a penny between a Jew and a homosexual. The man says "oh excuse me," picks up his penny and continues with his day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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