Why does jim never go to McDonalds? his wife got shot there.

Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

What's the difference between a black man and a bag of crap? Quite a bit. The black man is a human male of the Kingdom Animalia, while the bag is an inanimate object. The only similarity between them would be that they both contain organic matter.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

Two cowboys are in a kitchen. The first one says, "I feel at Home on the range!" To which the second replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he has never pursued his real dream.

How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

What's worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Ebola

Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

nba live 13

i don't get it...none of these are funny.

He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

A midget walks under a bar

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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