A: Ask me if I'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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What did the Egyptian helicopter do when it went into the pyramid? Exploded.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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What did Hellen Keller name her dog? Her parents named it Spot; Hellen Keller isn't able to speak due to her handicapped muteness.

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Why did the penis enter the vagina? They were trying for a baby

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I ponder

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A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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what does the nba stand for? Nothing But Africans

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Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

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what's funnier then 33? actually there's a plenty of things, just have to think about it

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Q: What's long and gray and kills people? A: A gas pipe.

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What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

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There was a black man and a mexican woman at a bar. The women says, "Why are all racial jokes about men?" The black man replies, "Because it is believed by some that males are superior to women." The woman went to go order a book from amazon.

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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