how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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An asian man and his friend walk into a bar. They both order a few drinks and drink them responsibly. They then pay for their drinks, and drive home to their loving families.

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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so your skydiving in the ocean and one of you bedroom windows break. how many bloodstains does it take to paint a peice of bread covered in goat milk? the answer is D. 2731 books on cannabalism

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A niggarette

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How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

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full house

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

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What do you call a black man running with a TV? A hard working individual who is in a rush to watch his new TV that he bought.

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What do you call a black person with white legs ? Ashy

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A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

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What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

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Why can't Hellen Keller read, write, or do anything really? Because, shes a woman.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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