What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

Back when I was your age, we had to entertain ourselves with video games and TV.

What happened to the man who killed his family? Rape.

Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

Why did the black guy eat KFC? Cause he was hungry.

what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

What's big, red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house! Nock. Nock. Whos there? The Chicken?

Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

Wanna hear a bathroom joke? YOU TRYIN' TO KILL US?!?

Kim Kardashian got a job.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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