Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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what happened to the farm animals? They were slaughtered and their parts were sold as meat, glue and other useful materials

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what did the boy with no hands get for christmas Gloves!!! just kidding i dont know he hasnt opened the box yet

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what does the homeless man do when he gets home? nothing, he's homeless

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Why cant you see black people when you are playing hide and seek? Because they are in a very good hiding spot

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

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What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

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why did the computer crash? it didn't

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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bergin y u so tubbbbbyyyy?????

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A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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Why did the Asian guy's condom slip? Because the condom was put on the opposite way.

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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What did little Jimmy get for Christmas? Presents because he wasn't poor.

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Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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