Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Not the Twin Towers.

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When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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What amusing anecdote did the Department of Educational Dictations officer tell his coworker? There was no amusing anecdote. DED men tell no tales.

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knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

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A woman went in the kitchen and made you a sandwich.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Kuo-n7Du0

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How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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How do you kill a woman? Let her drive

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why doesn't mexico have an olypics because theyre already running,swimming and jumping over the border

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How do you make a businessman cry? Shoot him in the kneecaps.

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Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

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what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

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Your mom's so fat, I tried to rape her but couldn't find her p**** and gave up. Instead I decided to take her out to dinner. We enjoyed a lovely meal and I spent the rest of the night trimming her fat with a vegetable peeler while she screamed and bled all over the floor.

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the fat boy named biggins ate a twinkie, a man named scruffy came along and shot biggins, now biggins has no nose

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Which is longer? A rope...

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What srtarts with "P" and ends in "orn"? Popcorn

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What comes after 23? 24.

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When is your birthday? November 13 what year? every year

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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