- Anti Joke

R.I.P. Steve Jobs

Q: Whats the biggest lie? A: The Cake...

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

a man is running away

This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

Q: What do the Terms of Service say? A: I dont know, I didnt read them.

How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

What happens when Darth Vader farts? Nothing. Darth Vader's butt was burned off on the volcanic planet of Mustafar and he fell into a lava pit. Darth Vader has since started a program called Darth Vader's butt replacement research foundation. Please donate money today. You could be changing a buttless person's life. Thank you very much.

Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

why was six afraid of seven? because seven murdered sixes wife and kids and said he was next.

michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

once upon a time there was a cripple little girls who lived in an orfanage were she got raped then beat .

Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

In the land of cheerios, there are three social classes. The bottom class consists of the regular cheerios, the middle class consists of the honey nut cheerios, and the top class consists of the frosted cheerios. One day, Mr. Cheerio was disappointed with his life in the bottom social class. He thought to himself, "Gosh, I bet life would be much better if I were a honey nut cheerio!" So he goes to the mighty cheerio king and says "Oh great cheerio king, what must i do for thee that thou might make me a honey nut cheerio?" The great cheerio king then says to him "I shall make thee a honey nut cheerio if thou wilt go to all the neighboring lands and bring me back 100 different kinds of vegetables!". Mr. Cheerio accepts the quest and travels for many months and years through all of the neighboring lands and finally collects the vegetables. He returns to the cheerio king and he honors the bargain my making him a honey nut cheerio. Mr. Cheerio is very happy with his new life. Due to his higher rank in society, he is able to find a wonderful job, marry a wonderful woman and have a few wonderful kids. One day, Mr. Cheerio thinks to himself, "I wonder what my life would be like if my family and I were all frosted cheerios. I could provide more for my family, and we would have a much fancier way of life!". He returns to the cheerio king and says "Oh great cheerio king, what must I do for thee that thou might make my family and I frosted cheerios?". The king then states "I will make thee frosted cheerios if thou wilt go to all the neighboring lands and bring me back 100 different kinds of fruits." Mr. Cheerio accepts this new quest. He departs from his family and travels for many months and years through all the neighboring lands until he finds all the fruits he needs. He returns to the cheerio king and he honors the deal by making Mr. Cheerio's family frosted cheerios. The life of the frosted cheerios is incredible. It is everything that the Cheerio family could have ever wanted. There are new opportunities around every corner. One day, a friend of Mr. Cheerio invites him to a dinner party that all of the frosted cheerios will be attending. Mr. Cheerio and his wife are talking to their friends at the party, when Mrs. Cheerio says to Mr. Cheerio, "Hey, honey, I'm getting a little thirsty. Could you go get me some punch?". Mr. Cheerio finds a very long line and stands in it. Once he gets to the front, however, he discovers that it is the line for steak, not punch. He repeats this process with half a dozen other lines, but he cannot find the line for punch. He returns to his wife and says, "Honey, there's something wrong with this joke. There's no punch line."

What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

Black People.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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