whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? One.

how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

why did the pinapple walk the plank? to eat a cat because cheese say people!

Let me tell you this really funny Dane Cook joke.

The mailman saw little Johnny sitting on the side of the street with an old coffee can Mailman: What do you have in that can there? Johnny: dog shit Mailman: what the fuck

Two men drove their car of a cliff. They died.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

I wonder if barrack Obama will rename the whitehouse...to the blue house because it is his favorite color

What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

Why did the Asian guy's condom slip? Because the condom was put on the opposite way.

Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

Whats worst then listening to you girl friends problems? Nothing.

What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

What's worse than Bieber fever? Yellow fever.

Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

A Priest and a young child walk into a dark alley.... It leads to a church and he talks to the young boy about God

What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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