Have you ever heard the story of Mikey Braford? Every morning when he was little, his father would fill a gym sock with nickels and beat him with it. Mikey has severe attachment disorder and frequent suicidal thoughts.

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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how many black guys goes it take to screw inalightbulb? just one, but inalightbulb was feeling rather slutty today, so 2.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you accent is really not hiding it

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what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

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Where do pimps go when they retire? Idaho.

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's funnier than a comedic movie? Genocide

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Where did Little Sally go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

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A 2 lb ball and a 10 lb ball are dropped at the same time. Which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground first. Go ahead and try it. Go on. Now. If you are still reading you really want to know if anything else is going to happen. Well nothing exciting. Just a potato. 0 looks like a potato

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So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

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What's big and red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!

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Papa Smurf: Why did the chicken cross the road? Grouchy Smurf: I hate chickens!

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jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

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Mark Wilson

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I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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