why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

Why are black people so good at basketball? Not all black people are skilled at basketball

How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

A man comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with his next-door neighbor. Furious, he shouts 'What's the meaning of this?!' And his wife answers 'A pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced'.

Women's sports.

Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

Why is cheese yellow? Answer: I don't know, I was hoping that you would know.

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

Where did Little Billy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

Why did that guy die? because the SS thought he was a jew.

why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...