Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

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There are 3 poeple on an air plane. The pope, a boy scout, and barak obama. The plane is about to crash and there is only 2 parachutes. omba said im the president of the united states and one of the worlds smartest african americans so he jumped out. The Pope told the boy scout " i lived a long happy life you take the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied what there are still 2 left the " worlds smartest negro jumped out with my backpack.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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How old is your mom? Old.

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

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Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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i have an apple. now suck my dick

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

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How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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