He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

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How old is your mom? Old.

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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i have an apple. now suck my dick

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How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

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what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

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What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

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How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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