Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. Why does Samuel Jackson always play a black guy? A. Because he's black.

thumb_up thumb_down

25

thumb_up thumb_down

Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

thumb_up thumb_down

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

thumb_up thumb_down

Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down

No, Trinidad.

thumb_up thumb_down

.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two english guys meet at work

thumb_up thumb_down

banana

thumb_up thumb_down

I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the blonde mail to her boyfriend? nothing, blonde's can't write.

thumb_up thumb_down

Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

thumb_up thumb_down

All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mama's so fat that she should probably go on a diet to avoid the risk of getting a cardiovascular disese.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops