Why did the clown fall off the swing? Because he was dead.

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What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

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Potassium? K.

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you know what is so funny?! jokes..................................

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" So the horse says, "My ex-wife just got full custody of my kids and I'll never see them again."

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What did the wife say to her husband when he arrived home from work? Nothing. She cried over his coffin. Her husband was a marine who died in a car bombing in Iraq.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

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a little violence in a relationship doesn't hurt anybody

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Why are some people so awesome? Because their black.

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What did the blind kid that couldn't talk get for Christmas Cancer

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How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

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A young boy had a question and looked into the sky then his eyes got burnt from the sun and he went blind.

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Jackson's dad told him to "play in the traffic".

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Dusters blow stuff.

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

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Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

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How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

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You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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