A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

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whats bloody and mingen Scabbaz head

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rishi is gay (coventry england)

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What happened to the little kid who went surfing? Answer: he gOt eaten by a shark

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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A man rode into town on Friday and stayed a while and then left on Friday how did he manage this?

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What's funnier than poop? More poop

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A homosexual walks into a church

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What's the difference between God and Kanye West? God doesn't think he's Kanye West.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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a guy jumped out of a plane...he died

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knock knock who's there no one

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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what's worse than getting a paper cut? Hiroshima

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That is so sweet of you, for a moment I thought I had said something that might have insulted you, but then again, considering the length of the message I see why it took so long.

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a person smokes weed... and gets high

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What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the chicken had enough of life and wanted to commit suicide due to recent tragic events such as his cheating wife, his druggie son, his prostitute daughter, losing his home, and getting fired

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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bergin y u so tubbbbbyyyy?????

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What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops