How do you pleasure your grandmother? Ask your brother

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Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

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What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

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Did you know that a hamster and a cigarette are almost the same? How? Because they are both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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Hitler said "Jew mad?" I did nazi that coming !

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why did the cow eat the seahorse/ because my shift keys are broken1

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What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

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more chocolate?

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

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why do i have a pain in my left side i dont know but im scared

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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