What's clear and wet? water

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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I am nobody Nobody is perfect Therefore, I am perfect

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There was a black man and a mexican woman at a bar. The women says, "Why are all racial jokes about men?" The black man replies, "Because it is believed by some that males are superior to women." The woman went to go order a book from amazon.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

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Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

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whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

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Why are rich guys gay? They can afford to be

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Do you want to hear a joke? No. Women's- oh, okay.

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Whats the difference between Steven Hawkin and Gary Glitter? Ones severely disabled and ones a paedophile.

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Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

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How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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your mom is like a lowling ball, she likes to be fingered then thrown back into the gutter

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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