A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

Hello, nice to meet you.

Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

What's the difference between a cow and a fat person. Nothing

What did Adam say when he saw Eve with just a fig leaf? The recipe said three frikkin figs.what the hell am I going to do with a fig leaf, you better get back in there, and hurry because I'm double parked. I was referring to Eastend married couple Adam and Eve Turner, in case there was any confusion.

What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

Get out of the way everybody, a group of elephants are tumbling down the mountain!

If an ear could talk what would it say? Probably nothing because it doesn't have a tongue...

If Africa had more mosquito nets, millions, MILLIONS of mosquitoes would die for hunger.

why did the girl fall down someone threw four monkeys and a refrigerator at her

What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

Whats funny about black people getting shot by whites We can steal our bikes back now

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

Why did the little boy cry regularly? Because his father was sexually abusive.

Ju... Just why?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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