A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

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why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

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What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

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Whats the difference between a Black man and a White man Skin color and possibly many other things because that is reasonable and normal.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the chicken had enough of life and wanted to commit suicide due to recent tragic events such as his cheating wife, his druggie son, his prostitute daughter, losing his home, and getting fired

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Why is Tom Garrick gay Answer- Because he is

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a person smokes weed... and gets high

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What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

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A handicapp walks into a bar

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What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

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That is so sweet of you, for a moment I thought I had said something that might have insulted you, but then again, considering the length of the message I see why it took so long.

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What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

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bergin y u so tubbbbbyyyy?????

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have difficulty understanding each other.

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What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

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Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

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A lady with no legs walked..... never mind

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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