How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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Get out of the way everybody, a group of elephants are tumbling down the mountain!

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what do you throw at a mexican man when he is drowning? his family.

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I love watching pom Get your minds out of the gutter

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Your mama is so fat that when she farted she called it global warming

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What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

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What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

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An ordinary man, much like your friend Brad from that one place where you used to hang out, was walking along one night, much like that night last week, and saw a star. He then wished upon that star...and kept walking.

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What did the nerd say to the bully? Nothing. The bully killed him before he could say anything.

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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Some woman's like "Make me a sandwich!" Some guy's like "No way!" The woman says "Or I'll rape you!" "Allright. Fine with m... Wait... I thought women didn... I mean couldn.. you know.." "Rape?" "No, eat sandwiches!"

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What did the "gangster" looking black guy ask the white guy he approached randomly on the street? "Excuse me sir, are you aware of the injustices done toward the jewish community that has been the decline of western society since the reclamation proclamation?"

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The time and place do not matter because I'm a lesbian.

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Whats worse than jizzing while your on a date? Shitting in you pants while your on a date.

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Why did the kid tell yo mama jokes to insult other kids? His mom had just committed suicide due to depression caused by the kid's bad habits.

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The other day, I broke my snare drum.... I still haven't fixed it and am planning on doing so soon.

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Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

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What did one volcano say to the other? Hey.... wana get some lunch... later, not now of course it's WAAAAY TOO EARLY!

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What happened to the boy who spilled his fruit punch on the president? He was offered a new one compliments of Obama himself.

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock. whos there? not suzy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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