Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

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What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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Why was the little boy screaming? He was going down a steep drop on a roller coaster.

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Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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Q: How do you kill an Asian? A: Deprive of calculator or shoot it.

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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What did the train say at the party Thomas isn't really dumb ass

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

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I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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A man comes home to find his wife in bed with another man. He then joins them.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

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Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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your mom is like a lowling ball, she likes to be fingered then thrown back into the gutter

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Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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