What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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knock knock who is there? Jehovah's Witness... IT IS the desire of Jehovah's Witnesses that you become better acquainted with them. You may have met them as neighbors and fellow employees or in other daily affairs of life. You may have seen them on the street, offering their magazines to passersby. Or you may have spoken briefly with them at your door. Actually, Jehovah's Witnesses are interested in you and your welfare. They want to be your friends and to tell you more about themselves, their beliefs, their organization, and how they feel about people and the world in which all of us live. To accomplish this, they have prepared this brochure for you. In most ways Jehovah's Witnesses are like everyone else. They have normal problems—economic, physical, emotional. They make mistakes at times, for they are not perfect, inspired, or infallible. But they try to learn from their experiences and diligently study the Bible to make needed corrections. They have made a dedication to God to do his will, and they apply themselves to fulfill this dedication. In all their activities they seek guidance from God's Word and his holy spirit.

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

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There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

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Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

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Roses are red, tires are black, why is your chest as flat as your back!

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How do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? Push 1000 Ethiopians off a cliff

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Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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0 + 0 = 0

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I had a date. She was a pegasister. Since MLP was magical, I disappeared.

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Why is 6 afriad of 7? because 7 killed 8 with a pistol and is now on a killing spree.

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Why did the donkey fall over Because it had A diabetic foot infection and had to have a non traumatic amputation of the lower hind leg.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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I dont know if you know this but i have a penis

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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TWIX PAUSE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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