Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

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Two guys walk into a bar.

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Why is America so great? Because the continent is really large.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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What happens when someone with ADD tells a joke? I forgot.

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What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

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What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

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What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

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A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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there is a mexican and a black guy in the back of a car, who is driving? The cop

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Q: Why do so many people write "So a man walked into a bar" A: Because they lack the intellect to think of something creative, and still other peoples material.

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Thumbs this up

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i want justin beiber to release more albums so that i can not buy them

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What did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops