Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they already stole them all.

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Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

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My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it is a largely water-based, delicious fruit that provides refreshment in such a hot country and conveniently flourishes in the said climate.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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Whats worse than runing over a box of kittens? Runing over two boxes of kittens.

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What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? They were tossing frisbee and accidentally threw it into their neighbors yard.

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The Braves win the N.L. east

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Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four in the seats, twenty six in the ash tray, and thirty in the gas chamber.

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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Whats an Anti-Joke? Funny

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Your mother is so old that she is dead.

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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Knock knock! Ding dong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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