What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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What number comes after 29? 30.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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Q: What did the latino kid get for christmas? A; Nothing because he died two days before

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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Why did a boy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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violets are blue, my name is Dave. this poem makes no sense. microwave.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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what does the homeless man do when he gets home? nothing, he's homeless

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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