"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar.....OW!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:what do you call a black man flying a plane? A: a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey, why are asians yellow and africans brown? I'm colorblind.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

wanna hear a joke? asians with t i t s

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and oranges? With one,you can make a delicous smoothie, but the other is just a pile of citrus fruits.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mom's so old she sometimes uses outdated racial slurs loudly in public. It can get pretty embarrassing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops