What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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24

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Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

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what did you call a bench full of white guys? The NBA

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What did the Democrat say to the Republican? "I am sorry about your mother". They had been good friends since childhood and the Republicans mother was soon to die from terminal cancer.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

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When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

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You're Adopted.

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what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

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Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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