A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

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Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

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What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

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how do you stop a bus? Well, just up the road is a stop sign so the bus will stop there because it is illegal to go through a stop sign without stopping.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

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What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a daycare.

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What happened to the boy after he ate a piece of Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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Why did the kid get out of school at twelve? He left early with a stomach ache

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Ron Paul for President!

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What's sad about four black people going over in a cliff in Cadillac? It was my Cadillac.

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Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

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What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't you're just racist.

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What's the difference between Michael J. Fox and a blender? Michael J. Fox is a successful actor starring in many movies, and a blender is a kitchen appliance.

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What do Connecticut school kids get at Christmas? Shot.

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Roses r red violets r blu I hav5 fingers the middle ones for u

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there was a blonde and abrunette and they both jumped off a bridge . who hit the bottom first? the brunette beacuase when the blonde was halfway down she had to walk back up and ask for directions

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A dog walks into a bar. He asks for a drink in perfect english. People scream at the dog's ability to talk and scientists burt in and take the dog to dissect and study his brain, vocal chords, and dna.

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a psychopath, that's why.

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Q: What did the chinese guy say to his friend? A: ??

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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