How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

knock knock who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a cow and a fat person. Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did 0 dislike 1? Because 1 made 0 feel like he was nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A duck walks into a bar he buys a drink and says To the bartender "Put it on my bill." the duck is charged With $800.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How long did it take azaha to have a shit? Nine months

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops