Roses are gray. Violets are gray. I am a dog.

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When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Tell her something that doesn't make any sense at all.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and an Indian man are all in the taxi when they were all killed in a car crash. Who was driving the car? The taxi driver.

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Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

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Oh, right

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Plenty of things

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One time Chuck Norris cried. He felt slightly better after the experience, but, unfortunately, his grandmother still died of cancer.

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what did binladin say when he got to hell? oh no. im in hell

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

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While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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A conversation between friends ( or some what.) Joe: I'm thinking about going out of state for college ... Rick: your mom went to college! Joe: yes she did Rick that's why shes a docker and my families rich.

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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Why was the boy rolling down the hill? Cause he's stupid

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 was convicted of a murder, but was released due to lack of evidence, and 6 is very concerned for the protection of himself and his growing family.

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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