what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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Chuck Norris screams in pain.

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sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

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Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

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Yo Momma is so fat that she is heavier than most other women her age

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What's worse than a Wasp at a picnic? Two wasps at a picnic. What's worse than two wasps at a picnic? A serial rapist. What's worse that a serial rapist? Three wasps at a picnic.

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Wy was the lamp crying, because his mother turned into mashed potatoes.

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Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

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why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

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What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

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You really need some help in spelling the word GOD... Anyway, none of your fucking business.I am a child for this scenario only so... Moral: LET THAT CHILD ALONE!

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A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? My cheese

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

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What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&start=148&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=L4yN-90F2S2nXM:&imgrefurl=http://www.britishbeautyblogger.com/2012/05/justin-bieber-nails.html&docid=yYdBShdYVODKdM&imgurl=http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YFyj_mKUypY/T6VP6iGQeCI/AAAAAAAAJjI/y6cpVYjn9Gs/s1600/harry.PNG&w=573&h=413&ei=ZY7HT_XqHo2c8QStiY2IDw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=724&vpy=140&dur=435&hovh=191&hovw=265&tx=75&ty=135&sig=110416686013590693091&page=12&tbnh=148&tbnw=229&ndsp=13&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:148,i:142

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

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What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? Mud slide What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Jailbreak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops