Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

A black man and a white woman cross paths while walking on the sidewalk. After greeting each other, they continue on their way. Each goes on to enjoy their respective day free of racism and sexism.

What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

Roses are red Violets are blue i cant ryme or spell.

why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

your moms my other ride

Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

Why did the chicken run across the road? It was 9/11

Roses are orange Violets are grey I love penguins Damn Jews

What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

Who is the fastest man on earth? To get to the other side.

What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

What did one cannibal set to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

What do you call it when a black man and a japanese woman get married? A wedding.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...