One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car> "Get in the car."

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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Womens Rights.

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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you

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What do you call a man with a black book? I don't know.

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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What is 9 + 10? 21

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"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

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Why doe this filthy bitch take big dildos inside himself? Because he is gay.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Q:How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She didn't, she sought help and was able to live a very happy life with a beautiful family in a nice suburb outside of Cincinnati.

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A women's opinion.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It got shot. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops