Yo momma is so fat, that she is not able to wear the clothes she wore the previous year.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

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what goes up and down , and left and right all day without breaking a sweat? A compass, get your mind out of the gudder.

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Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

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Why did the kitchen cross the road?

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Suzie hates cancer, Her granny got killed by a driver that suffered from it

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What is black and white and red all over? a nun that got raped.

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What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. "Knock, Knock" "Who's There?" "Not Sally."

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how come so many people die every year due to starvation? They don't have enough food and there aren't nearly enough spider monkeys in North America.

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What should you do when your refrigerator is running? Tell it to FREEZE!

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A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench. A bench is wooden while a black guy has a human body composed of mostly water.

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jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

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What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

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Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

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What's worse than five babies in one trash can? One baby in five trash cans.

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Gauss what ur mama said last night nothing i found her dead

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How do you spell "black" when you writing an african american history essay. B L A C K

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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