Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you call a black man in an envelope? A tiny black man

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

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Why are you angry dude? I can't see my forehead

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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Whats worse than getting stabbed in nuts? A retarded baby that survived the abortion

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THE GAME

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a fish swimming in the water swims

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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McDonald's... Giving people with swag jobs since 1942.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you smell like crystall meth.

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What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

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Q: Whats red and circular? A: A red circle

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If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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What's heavy, black, and when hanging by a rope from a tree, makes white people happy? A tire, in any white football player's backyard.

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Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

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How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

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What did the boy find on his laptop? -Nothing, he comes from a broken home and can't afford one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops