I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

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A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead walk into a bar. There is also a woman with black hair standing outside, and the man next to her is bald.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

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Women's rights.

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What did the firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire? -Let's go home

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Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

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My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a dick you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now,

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Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

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Good luck on your finals everyone!

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whats worse than your computer crashing? your plane crashing...twice

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Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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What did the virgin get for her birthday? Aids

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

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What's 1+1? Window! Just kidding it's 2.

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Q: What time do you see a Chinese dentist? A: Never because China has a flawed healthcare system due to overpopulation. It is a sad and sobering reality of the plight of the Chinese citizens.

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This is a swimmer Joke. Chuck Norris once lapped a kid in the 50 free... LONG COURSE.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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