SCUBA is spelt S C U B A

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, you racist.

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

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A fat guy eats a twinkie.

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What did one llama say to the other llama when they were on vacation? I filled our luggage with orphan meat because i'm building a meat dragon and not just any meat will do.

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The term "shots fired" often reminds me of the time a couple of buddies had a drinking contest and I shoved a lit cigarette down the loser's throat

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Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

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It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

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Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

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Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

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Where did the little girl go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Knock Knock .....................Oh it was just the TV

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

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i have a black person in my family tree he is still hanging

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How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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