Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

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Why was the lemon not feeling well? Because it had lemon aids.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head engage in a discussion on World politics. The brunette says she would like to see politicians paying more attention to the environment. The red head says she would like to see improvements in the economy. The blonde says she has to poop.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses can also be white And violets can also be purple

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How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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A black guy walks into a dilapidated house and purchases large amounts of narcotics. Racism isn't funny.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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SCHNARRRRRR!!!!!

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

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What do dogs and cats have in common? They eat dog food, accept for the cat.

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A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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why did the girl eat a banana? because she was hungry

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

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How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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