what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

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Good luck on your finals everyone!

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What's worse than banning guns? Very few things

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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why are you people on anti-joke? BECAUSE you have NO LIFE !

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Men don't cum twice easily. That's why Jesus hasn't been around for awhile.

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Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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