I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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how many A.D.D. kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?lets go play!

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Matt is not funny.

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You smell like shit

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

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What do you call a crocodile in a dentist? I have no idea, but I'd hate to be that dentist.

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what is 6 + 8 a math equation

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What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

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yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

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Why did the tissue dance? Because it had a boggie

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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Whats so funny? Josh nash's face

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What did the black man say to the Mexican? What a fine day it is!

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"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

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Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

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whats da difference between a black people and grass. there both black except for the grass.

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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops