A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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a boy says hi.The girl says bye. The boy starts to cry.

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How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 killed 9.

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A fat man fell on him

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why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

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A man walks up to an attractive woman and asks "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" The woman replies "No, it's hot in here. It is a record breaking 114 degrees outside, which means everybody is using their air conditioner. Due to the large amount of energy air condioners require, the power has gone out in this building and the air conditioner is not functional. The tempurature in the building is 103 degrees and three children are in the emergency room because of heat stroke."

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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text this number 2066191208 saying i wanna rape you

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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.....Carrot Top....

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whats red and black and green all over? a paint job gone bad

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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why did Mark Nara cross the road idk why? he didnt

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Patriarchy.

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

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Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

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Pen15

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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