A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

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roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

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how big is the moon? why the hell are you asking me?...dumbass.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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How much dirt was in a hole that was 6 feet wide and 6 feet deep? None. It's a hole.

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A Black man a Chinese man and a Jew walk in to a bar. Black man: nice place they got here Asian man: yeah I remember when it used to be that old hardware store Jew: Henry's, i think it was called Aisian man: must have been there for at least 10 years or so

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

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What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

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knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

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A man walked into a bar, was surprised to find his wife with another man, and had a heart attack.

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drugs sex alcohol are as funny as AIDS

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What's red and u drink it Koolaid

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard

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- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

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how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

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Whos the best Jewish Cook? Hitler.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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How did the black man get to work this morning? He didn't. He had been struggling with depression and finally this morning, he committed suicide.

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a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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