Why don't women need watches? Because they probably have a cell phone, which works just as well.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am color blind

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch."

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

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Knock Knock. Who's there. To. To who. To whom.

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Two 50 year old men walk into eachother on the street. one was born in a hobo shack and another was born in a mansion. what did the rich one say to the poor one? Hi, whats your name?

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the

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Pinus Testicles

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I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

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Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

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What happens when you divide by 0? Sadly, you don't.

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While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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Knock Knock Who's there Nobody is here. This is just a feeble attempt of your subconsious to convince yourself you have someone who cares about you in the least bit to mask the horrible wretched pain of loneliness and suffering that is the enternal damnation of your life.

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WHat did REAAAALLLY Jesus say when, walking on, wat, er?, Will somebody please get me of this floating piece of ice? Please? Stop screaming HALLELUJAH! People: HALLELUJAH!

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Well I dont think that has happened to anyone ever so I guess nothings worse.

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What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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What's a black man's favorite food? It depends.

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What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

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9001

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mark. Oh Hai Mark

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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