what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after A-N-A-L

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A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

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What does Batman say to scare Robin? Don't make me get the bat!

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Stubbing your toe

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Your mother is so ugly that she looks like you.. :)

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Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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Q: What do you call a black preist? A: Father

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Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin... Nothing they are muffins.

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh? Mooooooohahahahaha

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Knock-Knock The man wasn't home, so there was no answer.

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Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

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thermodynamics?

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How do u get Hitler out of a car? You open the door.

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How do you confuse and idiot? Purple.

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples how many pankackes can fit on the roof? Purple because alians do not wear hats./

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So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

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Why was Susan tied up on the railroad tracks? Because she was a blonde and her dad told her it was a roller coaster.

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Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

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Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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