How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

Roses are flowers Violets are flowers

Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

Why did the frog fall out the tree it was dead. Why did the second frog fall out the tree it was stapled to the first frog. Why did the third frog fall from to the tree peer pressure. Why did the fourth frog fall from the tree the third frog was his son. Why did the fifth frog fall from the tree he thought it was a game. Why did the sixth frog fall from the tree he shared the same body with the fifth frog

What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? They were both great singers.

i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

What did the white guy said to the black guy, when he stepped on his foot? Excuse me.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

Women

what did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for easter AIDS

What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

Two rabbis standing at the buffet cart. The first exclaims "Oy vey, those pork chops look good!". The second shrugs, turns to his friend and remarks, "So do your wife's norks".

What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

crap!!

A black man and a white woman walk out of a mall restroom holding hands and sweating. The white woman is arrested on the spot for statutory rape and sent to prison for 10 years. The black man was barely 16 years old.

What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

whats white and lives in a tree a fridge

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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