Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

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Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

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what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

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I Like my women like i like my wine, 6 years old and locked in the cellar

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why was 6 afraid of 7? He's not.

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Why do dogs lick their balls? Why? Because they can.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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so i turned on my radio.. so i could like listen to some tunes but like, it wasnt working and then like my best bud leaf was all like dude, thats a toaster.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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What is better than winning a medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Women

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i like tits

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What do you do if a blond throw a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back

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A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Knock knock Who's there? A ghost A ghost who?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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