a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

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Pickup line: Boy: Hey, do you have a library card? Girl: Yes

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whats worse than school...wait a minute?

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How do you drown a fish? You can't , it is physically Impossible to drown a fish. because they have gills, so they are able to breathe underwater.

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How do you know when you're on a Jewish golf course? The players don't yell 'FORE' they yell '$3.99!' @Obsequiously

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Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

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so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

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You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

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Doctor, I've caught a cold. Take a Halls.

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what does a pickle and a computer have in common? ... they both have a mouse.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Two black men walk into a strip club. They immediately walk out because they have faithful wives at home nurturing their beautiful African children.

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

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Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

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Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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