Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

a mushroom walks in to a little boys party the boy says why are u here mushroom says because im a fun-guy (fungis,fungi)

what happens during a climax apples

Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

Women's football

Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

Smart Blondes

potatoes

Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

Penis.

Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

The Treatment of Steve Bartman

Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

The Holocaust

Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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